


All the Colors

by Aidaran, StarTravel



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Autistic Julian Bashir, Cute, Domestic, Feelings, Flowers, Fluff, Gen, jules bashir - Freeform, kids fic, not as sad as the summary suggests, you know this is actually a real trek cliche
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 08:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18989164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aidaran/pseuds/Aidaran, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarTravel/pseuds/StarTravel
Summary: A transporter accident turns Jadzia and Julian into kids, and Garak has the chance to meet Jules and see how the doctor was before he was told he couldn't be himself.-----Julian hugs Kukalaka tighter to his chest, and then nods. They both jump at a noise; Jadzia has just thrown a plant and broken the pot. Julian covers his ears, without letting go of his bear. She smiles, her hands on her back."I didn't touch it."“Ah, so I assume it moved by itself?” Garak asks with a sigh. He can’t get mad at a child for practicing lying.





	All the Colors

Garak hears the chime of the door and when it opens, a very angry looking chief has his hand on a 5 years old child's shoulder. And why is that kid holding Kukalaka? On his other side, a small trill girl beams at him. Strange. Julian was supposed to come for dinner, what is O’Brien doing with two kids so late at night?

"Garak, can you babysit Julian and Jadzia while I see why the transporter it acting up?"

Garak stares at them. Oh. That explains it. He doesn’t even bother in rolling his eyes. Ever since the Federation took hold of the Station, this kind of accidents are their everyday lives. He wonders how that species made it to the space to begin with.

“These are Jadzia and Julian? Are you sure?” He refrains his urge to smell them when he sees the captain come from behind them, an even more annoyed expression on his face.

“Positive.”

Sisko sounds very annoyed and very tired.

Jadzia just bounces into the room and starts touching his plants and looking around. Julian meanwhile has his arms crossed around Kukalaka and is looking around, apparently a bit nervous. He takes a few steps toward Garak, eyes wide and watery.

"Did I do something wrong, mister?"

Garak looks at the captain and the chief, questioning.

"They reverted to their 5 old selves. We don't know where their adult memories are."

“I see.” Garak kneels down in front of Julian and swallows a bit. except no. Not Julian. Jules. “Do you know who I am?”

"No, sir. I am Jules." He smiles at him hopefully. "she is Ja... Jad... Jadia!" He raises his bear. "And this is Kukalaka!"

“Yes, that’s all right. I’m Garak and I’m a friend of the Chief and the Captain.” Garak tells him softly. “They’re going to work on helping you two out and I’m going to watch over you two here. Is that all right?”

Julian hugs Kukalaka tighter to his chest, and then nods. They both jump at a noise; Jadzia has just thrown a plant and broken the pot. Julian covers his ears, without letting go of his bear. She smiles, her hands on her back.

"I didn't touch it."

“Ah, so I assume it moved by itself?” Garak asks with a sigh. He can’t get mad at a child for practicing lying.

Julian wanders around the room, hugging Kukalaka.

"Maybe it is a psychic plant." She has not been told off for lying. This mister is different to the other adults! This opens a new world of possibilities she never imagined possible.

"Julian, dear, what are you doing?"

Julian stops and looks down at his feet. The chief and the captain leave discreetly. Let Garak handle the mess.

“I’m sorry.”

Jadzia meanwhile is climbing onto the table and planning to jump off of it. Not that it is that surprising, but he never imagined she’d be such a handful. But at this moment, his priority is Julian, who looks mortified and is not moving from the place where he stands.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Jules. Why don't you tell me what do you want to play?"

Jadzia falls to the floor face first and starts crying. Julian hears the crying and covers his ears and sits down. He looks very upset and starts sobbing. Garak looks between them and picks up Jadzia first, checking her carefully for injuries. First remove the source of noise.

"This is all your fault, Jadzia. You can't jump from tables. Now shut up and accept the consequences." He's not sure cardassian education will work on trill kids, but the fact that she stops crying and smiles tells him that either he pushed the right buttons, or she's planning her next heist.

Jadzia is the kind of child who responds to a challenge. She’s off running again the moment he sets her down, climbing onto to the couch. Garak will charge the captain for everything she breaks.

Garak kneels down next to Jules, who is still covering his ears.

"It's ok, Juli... Jules, she is silent again. Want to go to the bedroom and play there? it's more silent."

Jules nods, not able to speak again yet.

"I'll replicate you some toys."

Jules smiles a little at that and hugs Kukalaka some more. Garak leads him to the room and then brings him several blocks and a stuffed bird and a storybook.

Jadzia is playing imaginary pirate on the couch. At least she is a smart and compassionate girl, so she is trying not to make that much noise now, so Julian doesn't cry and Garak doesn't stop her.

Jules takes the blocks and starts building something. He gives several to Garak.

Garak blinks and then smiles adding a few into a tower next to Jules strange, uneven but remarkably sturdy structure. There’s something unique to the construction, something he feels Julian lost along the way, trying so hard to be like everybody else.

“Jules, do you like stories?”

He says yes with his head and looks at him hopeful.

Garak starts telling him a Cardassian fairy tale about a brave Gul who fought a giant vole to protect the Capital. Garak is a bit surprised by how quiet Jules is.

The boy listens to the story and hugs his bear every time something is a bit scary. When Garak finishes, he smiles a bit.

"Another? please?"

“Of course! What kind of stories do you like?”

“Animals!” Julian says and he hugs Kukalaka pointedly.

"I happen to know one about a riding hound. Do you know what a riding hound is?" Jules shakes his head, and the distinctive sound of a plate crashing against the floor comes from the living room. Jadzia has found something else to break. Garak fears the Federation is going to have a rather hefty bill by the time he’s done with them. 

Julian looks ready to cover his ears and rocks a bit back and forth. 

“Do you want me to check on the plate first?”

Jules nods a little, not moving his hands from covering his ears yet. Garak walks into the living room and immediately kneels down to start picking up pieces of broken plate. It split evenly at least. 

"Jadzia, let's make a deal. You don't break things, and I don't check on you."

"It fell by itself!" Jadzia cries with a bright smile, looking so proud of herself. 

"Don't tell the same lie twice, dear."

“Oh. Okay. I didn’t mean to knock it over. I was using the table as a plank! I’m the pirate queen!”

Garak gives her a quick nod of approval, because it’s important to give children positive reinforcement as well. Besides, she’s not Cardassian and he has no idea how Trills raise their own children. 

"See? that's better. You need to know when to lie and when not to. Don't... just don't break anything else. Want me to replicate some toys?"

“Yes!!” She cries and be makes her blocks, a toy sword, and several dolls.

"You like bets, Jadzia? I bet you one chocolate cake you can't be quiet for an hour."

“I bet I can!” And she takes the toys and starts very quietly building a tower. She is very pointed about it, making no sound, not even a little bit of humming. Garak lets out a low sigh. 

When he gets back to the bedroom, Jules is lying on his side with Kukalaka in his arms and right frown.

“Too loud.”

"She won't make any more noises now, Jules. Want to build something else?"

Julian looks up nervously, picking up one of the blocks and holding it out to him. Garak takes it with a tight smile, not quite able to keep from wondering what exactly the Bashirs were like. 

“We can build a house.”

"Tell me how and I'll follow, Jules."

"Daddy don't like how I build houses."

“Why not?”

“Says crooked and look like trees.”

"I like crooked trees. Don't you, Jules? they are more interesting."

The boy nods and gives him more blocks. Garak shivers to think what Jadzia may be doing in silence. The bet was good for Jules, but is breaking his nerves.

Jules builds several crooked things that do indeed look like square trees. Then he puts Kukalaka behind them. “Kukalaka protects the trees.”

“Do you like trees?”

And Jules’s eyes get bright while he goes into several tree facts and details while Garak listens while also peeking out the door to see what Jadzia is doing.

Jadzia fell asleep on the floor, splayed and snoring, with a pirate patch in one eye. Garak lets out a sigh of relief.

"How did you learn so much, Jules?"

The boy looks surprised, as if having somebody paying attention is a new thing.

“I listen to lots of stories and read holobooks about trees. They’re mostly pictures though.”

Julian smiles shyly, moving his hands back and forth a bit in the air as though he can’t contain his excitement.

"That sounds amazing, Jules. I can go download a pad about flowers if you want. I love plants too."

"Really? I want to have a garden when I grow up!"

“Do you?” Garak asks nicely and reminds himself to talk about this with his Julian once the Chief is done with his work. They could add discussing plants to their lunchtime repertoire. 

"Yes! And I will have all colors there! And animals!"

Garak wonders when Julian stopped thinking just wanting flowers and colors was enough. He wonders when Julian became the man he knows and how much of this boy is left.

They go over the photos in the book for about half an hour when the Chief rings the doorbell.

He feels a bit of apprehension when he opens the door. What if the Chief found a way of bringing Julian back? He still has so many things to show to Jules.

“Did you find the cure?” He asks nonetheless, because he won’t keep them children longer than necessary.

Jules peeks out from the door, holding Kukalaka.

"Actually... I wanted to ask you if you can take care of Julian for some days. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. Kira offered to take care of Jadzia."

"Thank goodness."

Jadzia runs over to Kira with her toy sword and immediately starts talking a mile a minute. Garak waves goodbye to her with a sense of relief. He turns to the Chief. 

“Keep me informed of how it’s going. Jules is a good child, but I do miss our mutual friend as well.”

"And I guess you miss the toned down version of Jadzia, as well."

"I'm charging the Federation with all she broke."

“Fair enough. Hopefully Kira will be able to keep her under control.”

Suddenly Jadzia turns to him, arms in her hips and a frown on her face. She enters the quarters again.

"You promised me cake!" 

She crosses her arms and stands near the replicator, tapping her foot pointedly. She’s too smart for his own good.

Garak sighs and replicates her a cake and hands it to the Chief. 

“Take this to Kira.”

Garak hoped she had forgotten, but at least the one who will deal with this sugar rushed version of Jadzia is Kira.

After the door closes Julian takes a few careful steps into the living room. 

“They couldn’t find our parents?”

"Yes, and they said you should enjoy your vacation here. Aren't you happy? you can play all you want." He can’t even begin to fathom what they may be thinking, if their brains have reverted to their childhood versions.

“Okay, then can I look at more of the flowers in this book?”

"Of course. We can talk about orchids until you feel hungry."

They do and Julian is so excited to hear all the different facts he almost forgets to tell Garak he’s hungry, but he starts to get a little grumpy. 

"I think, Jules, that I can keep telling you about flowers while we eat. What's your favorite food?"

“I like vanilla pudding and I like bread and apples and carrots. But none of them touching and not too sweet or too sour or too lumpy.” He says it very fast and looking at the floor.

"Of course. I'll prepare that, then."

"You’re not mad?"

“Why would I be mad? None of that’s hard to replicate.”

"But... I can't be fussy. Daddy says it is rude." He has a bit of trouble with the r's but he makes an effort to pronounce rude. He doesn't want this nice mister to think he can't talk.

“I don’t think it’s rude at all. In fact, it’s quite courteous of you to tell me what you like.”

Garak turns around and frowns a bit. Garak thinks he doesn’t think he likes Julian’s father.

"Can I... can I not eat brown food too? I don't like the color. I want green bread."

“Of course. Thank you for letting me know.” Garak doesn’t add that brown is still a color he doesn’t like, if the foods he chooses for his lunches and his painfully bright civilian clothes are anything to go by. 

Jules smiles excitedly at him. It's not like Jadzia's expression, who was measuring him. It really is as innocent as Julian was when he first arrived. 

"This is the best meal ever!"

“Why thank you, it’s nice to have my culinary efforts appreciated.”

"Can... can I use my hands? I don't like spoons and forks."

Garak is not surprised. The boy really seems too clumsy for cutlery.

“Of course. Just be careful with the pudding.”

"I will!" He eats happily and starts singing to himself. "Mommy says I have to eat all food, not what I like."

“Well, here the rules are that you only have to eat what you want.”

Jules grins widely, eyes lighting up as he keeps eating. He ends up making a mess with his food and clothes, but Garak can’t find it in himself to care, as he sees the boy smile with a bit more of confidence.

 

Its some time after lunch when Sisko shows up to pick him up. Since he has the most parenting experience, he agreed to watch over Jadzia and Julian at night. Jadzia is already with him, looking thankfully exhausted. Garak can only imagine the Major’s state. Garak is quite worried about who will watch Jadzia tomorrow if major Kira has to work. Her job is a bit more necessary than his.

"I want to stay here!" Jules hides behind Garak's leg. Jules suddenly fears they will return him to his parents. He doesn’t want to go yet. 

Sisko kneels down and smiles softly, with his most friendly expression. 

“Are you sure? I have a lot of games and toys and stories.”

Julian peaks around. 

“And my parents aren’t there?”

Garak feels that until that moment the boy didn't really demand anything. Everything else was asked with fear.

“No, I’m sorry young man, your parents aren’t there.”

Julian looks happy at that, hands moving back and forth. 

“And it will be quiet?”

"My son is a writer, so he doesn't make noise. You will be comfortable. We don't want to impose on Garak, he needs to rest as well."

Garak really feels this would not be imposing. He feels oddly protective about this child version of the good doctor. Jules looks between them and finally sighs a bit. 

“Okay.”

"Captain, you know I can take care of him tomorrow during the day as well. I'm sure my clients won't miss me."

“As long as it’s not too much trouble, Garak.” Sisko sounds relieved, the crinkles around his eyes softening a bit. 

 

So Garak isn’t surprised at all when Jules is dropped off in his mini Starfleet uniform the next morning, Kukalaka in hand. He immediately walks past Garak and towards the blocks, sitting down in front them.

"I was afraid." His eyes are a bit teary and he sniffles a little.  

Garak kneels down as he welcomes him, patting him on the shoulder. 

“Did you not like the captain’s quarters?”

“They were too big. And too messy.”

"You are here now."

"You’re not mad? people get mad and I don't go back sometimes."

He can't quite put into words the fear that maybe he was too messy at eating, maybe he cried too much, maybe this nice mister didn't like it when he covered his ears.

“No, I’m actually delighted to have a visitor. I need someone to tell me more about flowers on Earth.”

Jules smiles at that and flops on the sofa. 

"Did you know? you put color in the water and, and... and flowers  _ drink _ the color!"

“No, I didn’t know! tell me more.” Garak sits in his armchair and listens as Jules excitedly describes the whole process. He’s mentally cataloging the similarities and differences between this child and Julian Bashir.

Julian is all the time trying to control that excitable part of himself. He's seen him apologize for all this information several times. This boy still has not quite learned to be ashamed of himself.

"... and that's how you do it! if you have white flowers I can show you! we can do pink flowers!"

“Yes, here, let me go replicate some flowers and some dye.” Garak makes the pink dye but several other colors as well. They spend the better part of the day on that experiment.

Jules looks at it proudly. 

"Tomorrow you will have a rainbow!"

“Yes I will. I can’t wait to show it to you.” Garak says with a bit of a smile as he goes to prepare Jules’ lunch. That’s when the door chime rings again.

He puts the plates on the table and opens the door.

It’s chief O’Brien, looking exhausted but a touch proud. 

“We figured out how to turn Julian and Jadzia back!”

"Oh." Garak feels his throat constrict. He knows what's right. What should be done. And still … 

“May I walk him to the infirmary?” He takes Jules’ hand, giving the boy an encouraging smile as Jules hugs Kukalaka closely to his chest. He must be afraid of doctors. 

“Actually, we need to go to the transporter room.”

The kid hides behind him and the Chief and shakes his head.  

"They won't hurt you."

"But... So noisy and bright." The boy sniffs and closes his eyes. "I know I don't have to say that. Sorry."

He seems to be back to how he was when he entered Garak's quarters.

Garak kneels down and puts a hand on his shoulder, smiling crookedly. 

“It’s okay to say that. You should always tell people if something’s bothering you.”

"Daddy says I complain too much."

"I think the one who does all the complaining is your father."

Garak thinks that he’ll have quite the long talk with Richard Bashir if they ever end up meeting. Jules smiles a bit at that and finally gets on the transporter, carefully setting Kukalaka down before he does. 

Jadzia comes with Kira, who looks like somebody who's lived through hell. Jadzia sees the bright lights and runs right to them, curious and fearless. Kira looks like she might cry from relief.

A few seconds later, they step inside and their adult selves emerge. Julian looks around and Garak and can't quite understand his expression.

Jadzia comes over to Kira’s side to hug her while laughing.

"I'm sorry, Kira. Was I too much of a handful?"

“You were .. I can’t lie, you were a little ball of destruction. Where did all that energy come from?”

"Oh, I like that nickname! Trust me, I could have been worse. I acted out a lot."

“I could see that. You nearly destroyed half my wardrobe.”

Julian scurries our the room without a word. Garak watches him with a touch of hurt, just barely resisting the urge to follow him. If the doctor doesn’t want to talk about his brief sojourn back to childhood, it’s not Garak’s place to bring it up. 

 

Julian stops by his quarters after he closes his shop, expression a mixture of restraint and embarrassment. His hands are gripped tightly by his sides, entire body like a sharp line. 

"Come inside, dear doctor. Tea?"

Garak is really not sure what's wrong with Julian and starts to worry that the transporter had some kind of negative side effect. It wouldn’t do to have the good doctor back to normal only for his body to rebel. 

“Thank you, Garak. That’s kind of you. I came to apologize.”

Garak blinks a bit, just barely hiding his surprise. 

"What for?"

“For you having to watch me when I was stuck as a child. I know I could be strange and excitable and generally ... difficult.”

"You were a delightful being. I'm actually sad that child has had to go away."

"I was fussy. And messy."

“You weren’t fussy, you just had particular tastes.”

Julian rolls his eyes a little as he paces across the room. He doesn’t meet his gaze. 

“Please Garak, I remember what I was like.”

"Me too, I had you here two days. You were happy when somebody actually listened to you."

Julian opens and closes his mouth, looking torn between defending them and agreeing. Garak knows a bit about that feeling. 

“My parents just - they didn’t - they wanted me to grow out of those things.”

"Why? Because it bothered them?"

“Well, yes. I was annoying, fussy, and i couldn’t do anything right.”

Julian looks down at the ground, suddenly feeling awkward and a bit ridiculous. He is talking about a child after all, even if that child was him. 

"You were cute, and shy and overwhelmed. I wanted to see you happy."

Julian looks up, sharp and surprised. 

“Oh. My parents ... when I was little they had me well. Changed. They thought that was the only way to make sure I could be happy.” He closes his eyes and swallows tightly, a choked half laugh coming from his mouth. “That’s why said little boy turned out so differently.”

"That little boy was every bit as delightful as you are now."

“Just in completely different ways.” Julian sighs as he takes a seat in Garak’s couch, gaze melancholy. Garak thinks there is something else here, a deeper hurt. 

"I don't think you were that different. Only that he still thought he had the right to say things. You don't believe that anymore and that's why you hide when you feel bad."

Julian opens his mouth to argue, hands tightening a little as he moved them and then slid them back in his lap. 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

"I think half the time you eat what you believe others expect you to, not what you want. You flinch when there's noise you aren’t prepared for, and lights sometimes annoy you."

Julian looks down at his hands and shakes his head a little, a half smile on his face. He still can’t quite meet Garak’s gaze.

“Of course  _ you’d _ notice all my little quirks.”

"And I never cared. I feel a bit hurt you never trusted me enough to be yourself around me."

“I am myself!” Julian snaps in an annoyed voice. Then takes a deep breath, some of the fight going out of him. “Just a more mature version of myself. A 30 year old man can hardly flinch at loud noises or only eat green bread.”

"Too bad, I have a lot of that green bread that I prepared for the lunch I never got to have with Jules."

“Do you?” Julian asks before he can stop himself, a certain sparkle coming into his gaze. Garak smirks a bit, thinking that he might understand his dear doctor a little better now than he did before. 

"Of course. Come to the table and I'll bring the pudding as well."

Julian walks over to the table, taking a seat with a smile he can’t try stop coming over his face. Julian can’t believe Garak is being so nice about all of this, glancing around the room that’s already been cleaned from the disaster he and Jadzia made of it yesterday. 

Then Julian notices there's a small vase in the middle, with flowers of all colors.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love!


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